OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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