Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
