dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
