he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
