Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
