We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
