No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize