What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
