worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
