I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
More tranny stories later!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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