yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
