My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
