sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
