I hate all girls vehemently.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
