did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
