Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So much rum. So many feels.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
