He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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