Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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