its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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