i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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