where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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