He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
