Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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