My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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