he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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