I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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