I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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