kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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