Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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