that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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