I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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