I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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