Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
