i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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