They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
