I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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