i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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