True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
