Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize