I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
