Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize