How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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