My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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