i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
