if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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