OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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