We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
