TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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