if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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