Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
