Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
tell me about the fingering
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
