He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
