i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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