i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
