I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Randomize