so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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