Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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