he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
